Food is a vital part of our life. As soon as we are born, may be for 4 months, we are on mother’s milk, soon after, we start eating the solid food. As soon as we start communicating with our care-takers, be it parents, nurse, nanny or extended family, we usually hear the words like, “Eat properly, you will become strong..” or, “if you don’t eat this curry, don’t get up from your lunch.. ” or “if you don’t eat properly, you will be malnourished and fall sick..” or “you have this disease or that disease because you don’t eat a lot of green vegetables.. ” … other than this, we also hear things like, “oh, if you go to a party / family gathering and don’t eat, you will be odd man out.. “..
Food is connected with a lot of events in life as well.. birthday means, cake cutting, icecream.. family time special snacks.. Food and emotions… “Cadbury, gift to someone you love..!!” 🙂 All this piles up over the years on the head ending up in something one can never imagine the side effects and after effects.. Nirahara Samyama is the way to peep into these food patterns and break them once and for all..
How did becoming Nirahari unfolded for Aandaal so far?
It was a journey… started really in year 2006, attended Baba Ramdev’s yoga workshop in Toronto, Canada. There were some guest speakers who joined the workshop and shared their personal life experiences about their extraordinary achievements related to Yoga or Yogic body. One day, a jain businessman and yoga practitioner was a guest speaker shared about him not eating food for last 22 years! Aandaal first heard it casually, but rethinking, rethinking, rethinking.. Aandaal was baffled.. how could that be! By looks, he was just a normal looking person.. pink cheeks, normal body mass.. no so called sign of not eating food for 22 years!! That was very intriguing for Aandaal to see a person not eating food and yet alive! Because, usually, so far Aandaal had only heard from parents, media, society and dietitians that “Food is the source of energy and so is responsible for we being alive, without food, any living creature die!”. BUT, here is a person, defying the law known to Aandaal about food and life.
Another thing that Aandaal was experiencing on and off was something unusual, for last few years then.. if somebody in friends or family ask, did you have your lunch/dinner, if Aandaal say, no, and the person ask back, why.. !, Aandaal used to reply, “didn’t feel like, will eat something later!”. And the usual food for Aandaal used to be.. Salads.. boiled vegetables.. fruits.. more of kind of raw food.. Aandaal used to wonder sometimes, what’s going on.. why don’t i eat like normal people eat, the regular diet!! Answer to this was, “God only knows!!”.. and cherishing thought was, may be past life pattern, may be Aandaal was a yogi and lived eating raw vegetables and fruits, so Aandaal likes those now also.. this is a very common thought in hindu communities when something is happening as a pattern and the reason is unknown.
An incident happened in 2010 in teacher’s training held in LA Nithyananda Vedic Temple. Bhaktaswami was taking an intro session for the teachers’ training and alongside he also talked briefly about the health workshops that he was conducting then recently. Bhaktaswami was talking about the overeating and weight-gain.. he asked to the group, how many of you overeat? Quite a few raised their hands and shared their problems about eating. Aandaal was weighing 68 kg (overweight) back then. After they finished, Aandaal raised the hand to speak, Bhaktaswami asked, yes Ma, you want to say something, Aandaal said, yes Bhaktaswami, my problem is reverse, Aandaal does not overeat, Aandaal’s problem is, Aandaal does not eat.. Bhaktaswami asked back again, then how do you feel when you don’t eat, Aandaal said, after crossing limit of not eating, Aandaal feel the energy dropping below the heart chaktra.. and then Aandaal realizes that, yes Aandaal needs to eat something.. and then she goes and eats.. Bhaktaswami said, yes.. if that is what is happening, then it is ok.. Aandaal was still wondering, if that is ok, then what is the cause of me being overweight if not food.. !
Aandaal was reading Autobiography of Yogi (Paramahamsa Yogananda’s autobiography), in that, it mentions about an enlightened lady who was living householder life but having a great yogic power of living without food. Paramahamsa Yogananda travelled in his Ford to meet this yogini, and the whole meeting and incidence is narrated quite elaborately with a photo of them together. An intriguing revelation was there about this yogini, how she stopped eating food and that became a yogic power in her. The biography says, this lady yogini got married at the age of 8 and her mother-in-law, on the very first day of her stay in her in-laws place, commented something slighting on her eating food. That hit her very hard and she stopped eating at all. And ever since, she never ate food and she was quite old when Paramahamsa Yogananda met her. It also narrates about how she was living without food, on “Prana”, breathing the life energy force from air. This was second reference for Aandaal, about a human being having yogic power of not eating food and yet living a normal house-holder life.
In first half of 2011, Swamiji introduced Moon Samyama, Aandaal felt exited to practice the moon Samyama and practiced as guided by Swamiji. It was from Paurnami (fullmoon) to no-moon day, 15 days. Very simple it was, anything you want to eat, go ahead eat, but only thing, put it into the blender and crush to liquid.. it could be daal, rice, curry, roti, all put together.. and at night, have to practice a meditation on moon, visualizing the moon in the navel region, being in the moon light.. for 42 minutes.. Food these days.. it was heavenly for Aandaal.. Actually first 2-3 days, Aandaal just skipped eating.. no soups.. pretty much fasting all day.. but forth day was like, oh… have to have something.. Aandaal picked up some vegetables from Metro (grocery store), came home, just big chunks of coliflower, baby carrots, frozen peas and a patato, all put together for boiling, within 10 minutes, it was ready to blend, and in 15 minutes, with salt and pepper, the soup was ready to eat/drink.. that was really quick… and the taste.. heaven.. Aandaal could not imagine, such delicious the soup could be.. then everyday.. new new recipes of different blends of veges.. fruit smoothes.. juices and one time, added mint in simple patato soup.. with panipuri masala in it.. gosh.. that was ultimate.. it was ultimate fun making those great soups and fruit cocktails.
The result, from 68 kg (150 pounds) reduced to 60-61 kg (132-134 pounds), 7-8 (15-17 pounds) in 15 days. That felt good. After the moon Samyama finished, the weight reduction did not stop, was not sure about the reason why the weight was reducing.. at around 57 kg (125 pounds), it was stable for a while.. It felt healthy after couple of years of being overweight..
In second half of 2011, another incidence happened. Toronto Nithyananda Vedic Temple was inaugurated recently. There were 2 volunteer ladies in the Temple, one was quite friends with Aandaal and another was not as much. One who was friends with Aandaal mentioned to Aandaal quite a few times how another lady was keeping watch on what she eats and how much she eats in the Temple, like mother-in-law.  Aandaal could imagine the situation on both sides. The lady who was keeping watch must be concerned about the financial lieu that it was creating for the other lady’s food expense and the lady who was eating was feeling righteous about eating in the Temple because world over, in Nithyananda Mission, food is served free to thousands of devotees and full time volunteers eat in the Temple because they are devoting their time and energy to the mission.  Aandaal could see both the sides, and of-course was nobody to judge any of them and obviously they had to solve such personal issues themselves by working it out.
The actual thing happened a little later, Aandaal was yet part-time volunteering with the Temple and had full time job in her profession that time. One night, there was some event in the Temple which was mandatory for volunteers to attend, some healing tower training it was. Aandaal had a busy day at work  and did not get chance to have anything in lunch-time and drove to the Temple in the evening from office to attend this training. It was a week-day, and according to the Temple norms, food was shared only in the weekends with the devotees and not in the weekdays. Aandaal was not aware about this rule, Aandaal was quite hungry and Temple food / prasadam was there on the table. Aandaal took a plate and was putting food on the plate. This lady who used to restrict the other lady, came immediately to Aandaal and exclaimed like, why are you eating here, you didn’t eat at home!! Meaning was, this food is not for sharing!! Aandaal was quite taken back. Two emotions erupted in Aandaal, first, this is Temple food, same as prasadam, so can not or should not give it up dis-respectfully when Aandaal already has taken it to eat, second, feeling of disgust, being insulted for taking food without asking. Aandaal stopped taking more food, and ate whatever was there on the plate.
Swamiji has mentioned about how Kuppamal (Mata Vibhutananda Puri), one of his gurus in childhood who taught him lessons of Vedanta, had initiated him into being Nirahari, using the stem of a herb and putting a cross with that herb on his stomach, vanishing hunger from his inner space. Also, Swamiji mentioned, during parivrajaka yatra during his penance period, before realizing the mission of his incarnation, Swamiji would accept food only if the donor of the food touches feet of Swamiji respectfully and offers the food. This is how food is offered in Vedic tradition to Sanyaasis and Sanyaasis are supposed to accept the food only in this dignified manner. When this lady spoke those insulting words to Aandaal, Aandaal felt, Swamiji was lucky for having such a guru who saved him from such insults and helped him follow the vow of accepting the food with dignity. If food was not shared in dignified manner, Swamiji had option not to accept the food, but for Aandaal, hunger made Aandaal take the food, forgetting to ask even whether it was ok for Temple to share. Â Aandaal felt very helpless and felt in that moment, would it ever be possible for Aandaal not to eat whenever Aandaal wished so!
And there you go.. Swamiji introduced Nirahara Samyama in first half of 2012. Aandaal was all set for that. And sure enough, that was again a break through. 21 days of being without any solid food and drinking only fruits blend juices. This samyama was in 3 parts, first 2 days fasting, then one day break of eating the regular diet food, then 7 days fasting and one day break, and then 11 days fasting and the samyama is over. Every day, one has to be present in 2 way video conferencing with Swamiji in the Morning message / satsang and attend the Nirahara Samyama meditation for all 21 days. Aandaal joined the samyama and it was again a total different experience. Without eating any solid food or soups / vegetables / bread… only on fruits blend juices, Aandaal could actually live without food, without losing any energy level or being tired. This was the first time ever in life Aandaal observed fasting for continuous 11 days. Aandaal was amazed by knowing living without eating food is actually possible for herself! Â Again, of course, the benefit part.. Aandaal lost another 7 kg weight, now Aandaal was weighing 50 kg (110 pounds). And another profound change that happened in Aandaal was, the pattern of NOT eating regular food diet broke. As soon as the Nirahara Samyama finished, morning and evening, Aandaal was eating food, the regular diet like other people, like curry, rice, daal, roti, just how Aandaal used to eat when she was a kid and her mom used to cook great food. Aandaal actually gained 3 kg weight back again quite immediately. But then it was stable at 52-53 kg.
Aandaal was very happy about breaking this pattern of NOT eating regular diet / food. Yet, the understanding had not happened, WHY Andaal was not eating regular diet / food.
Now, Aandaal was eligible for attending THE Samyama, which Swamiji had announced commencing in August 2012. In THE Samyama, the participant does not take any solid food for continuous 21 days, practice the meditation led by Swamiji and receive the initiation from Swamiji for becoming Nirahari (means, food free). The promise was, after attending THE Samyama, the participant has option to live without food for life-time. In the intro session Swamiji mentioned, it would take 6 months for the participant to become complete Nirahari means, free from food. Aandaal obviously was exited to explore this new possibility of living without food and find out whether that is going to actualize for Aandaal. Â Aandaal came to India to attend this 21 days THE Samyama program. There were total 108 participants from world over. On the first day, Swamiji asked, how many of you are feeling skeptic about being successful Niraharis, Aandaal’s hand was up, Aandaal was really wondering and was feeling, “am i really not going to eat any food all my life, just after attending this meditation program!!?” Aandaal was there to experiment, with the meditation, the Vedic Science, with Swamiji and of course, with her body/mind system.
21 days of THE Samyama meditation finished, did not consume any solid food and received initiations with grace of the Master, Paramahamsa Sri Nithyananda Swami. We, group of participants of THE Samyama were travelling together for temple pilgrimages, we stayed as Niraharis (living without solid food), the energy levels were high, no sign of tiredness or any stress in the body/mind.
The fisrt pilgrimage place we group of people went to was, Parani, an energy field of Bogar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogar), a herbal healer or alchemist, one of the 18 Shaivait Siddhar and also one of the 63 Nayanmars, also, direct disciple of Thirumoolar, who was again, direct disciple of Lord Shiva himself.  Aandaal was exited and a big group of Inner Awakening and THE Samyama participants were ready to go to this Temple in Parani. With our batch of THE Samyama, the 3 levels of Nirahara Samyama batch also had started. Swamiji himself joined that batch from the 3rd level,  that was 11 days of fasting. On the last day of THE Samyama, Swamiji specifically mentioned in the morning satsang, “Today is the last day of IA, prasadam (food offerings) from 21 temples are brought for IA participants as part of the IA special rituals. But being Niarahara Samyama participant, even though Parani panchamritam (special sacred food offering) is my (Swamiji’s) favourite and very hard to avoid if see it, but today, am only going to “dip” a finger in it and put it on my tongue, so that, the prasadam (the sacred food offering received from Temple) is not disrespected and I (swamiji) am remaining as Nirahari. “
This was the first hit for Aandaal for becoming a Nirahari. Having been brought up in an orthodox tightknit devotional Hindu community in Gujarat, visiting a temple and not having prasadam (!!), was like, touching the gate of heaven and coming back. Aandaal always had been greatly fond of having prasadam (sacred food offering in the temple) if visit a temple and was feeling it quite much of struggle with the idea of not having prasadam of such an ancient energy field of Parani / Boger Temple. But the spirit was high for becoming Nirahari, so managed by having only little bit of Parani panchamritam (prasadam) as guided by Swamiji.
Now we, group of Niraharis (Food Free people), came to Tiruvannamalai because Swamiji had announced next Inner Awakening and THE Samyama program in Tiruvannamalai. We were living in a guest house in sharing which was a very nice area, full of restaurants and shopping area, near Ramana Maharshi Ashram. Right across our hotel (guest house), there was a beautiful “Ayurveda” restaurant, where we got the custom made soups, which were rather simple for them to make and was matching with our Nirahara diet. And of course, now was the time to enjoy something that Aandaal always looked for, the MASALA CHAI, the fire-stove cooked spicy Indian tea, woooh.. that was the best there made with “Indian” whole milk, HEAVEN, enjoyed!!
There was some 20 days’ time for next THE Samyama and Inner Awakening program to start. We were visiting the Ashram every day, enjoying being in Swamiji’s presence in the Ashram and everyday morning satsang. We were volunteering in the kitchen and ashram, mainly helping in organizing and cleaning in different departments. Some days, we were also going to places and shopping in Tiruvannamalai town. One day, Aandaal and Aandaal’s friend decided to offer Abhishekam (holy bath ritual to deity) in Tiruvannamalai main big Temple. Aandaal was exited, we fixed a date on an auspicious day. After finishing the Abhishekam (holi Bath ceremony ritual to the Shiva Lingam), The Temple priest gave loads of prasadam food offered in the ritual, along with pancamritam directly collected from the shiv-lingam after Abhishekam (sacred bath different things like honey, crushed fruits, Jaggary etc). Now was the biggest struggle for Aandaal being a Nirahari, idea of not consuming this Panchamritam which is collected after the Abhishekam, right from top of Annamalayar Temple fire Shiva-lingam which Swamiji explains as Arungiri Yogishwara himself. A thought came, if consuming this Panchamritam is making Aandaal “Aahari”, let Aandaal be Aahari, and Aandaal ate couple of cup-full of Panchamritam as prasadam, but yet, avoided consuming the solid food received as prasadam.
Now came the climax, during THE Samyama, after doing the Padapuja, Swamiji had given “Chikkis” (Peanut + Jaggery candy) to Aandaal which Aandaal had not eaten yet because they were totally solid. But now Aandaal wanted to eat those because if Temple Panchamritam (received from Achal-murti) was ok for Aandaal to consume being Nirahari, this was something directly received from Swamiji’s (Sachal Murti) hand. The first thing Aandaal did after going back to hotel was, ate all those chikkis ! (yeah J !) There was no guilt, no feeling of breaking the vow or initiation, yet a thought was there, was wondering, “how Swami would react to this!?”
Right after 3-4 days of this, there was this Tamil NSP program organized in Tiruvannamalai, from 20 Sep to 23 Sep, 2012, Aandaal was participating. On the very first day, in the morning satsang, Swamiji mentioned, now, Niraharis (participatns of THE Samyama), who are still not taking any solid food, don’t have any vow for not eating food. Swamiji specified, let say, if there is some Temple prasadam and you want to eat, go ahead, you will still be Nirahari. If you are eating once in a while, say, once a week, once in 2 weeks, or once in a month and other time not eating, you are still Nirahari, because the food pattern is broken and you are eating only when you really want to. Other thing Swamiji mentioned was, not to eat out of 3 things, 1. imagination 2. visualization 3 smell. Aandaal was really delighted, wow, Aandaal ate the panchamritam (the Temple offering) and the chikkis received from Swamiji and Swamiji is ok with it, what a relief!!
After 15 days of completing THE Samyama, one thing happened to Aandaal.  In Toronto (Canada), Aandaal does not enjoy the ice-cream or milk products very much, don’t much like the smell and taste of the milk over there. When Aandaal was buying the ticket and getting visa for India, Aandaal was thinking about having ice-cream in India. Aandaal landed in India and first visited parents’ place. In Nithyananda Mission, we have vow of not consuming sugar and Aandaal was following the vow quite religiously, so got family pack sugar free ice-cream, but upon checking the ingredients after bringing it home, Aandaal saw, some sucrose, fructose, glucose in it. Aandaal was not sure if glucose is sugar or not. Aandaal avoided consuming that ice-cream for didn’t want to break the vow. But now after 15 days of completing THE samyama, Aandaal felt a great urge to have ice-cream and there was this small grocery store with Amul (brand) ice-cream. Aandaal grew up eating Amul (brand) ice-cream as Amul is the largest and first dairy in Gujarat and very delicious and pure nice milk and milk products. Aandaal felt just driven by the urge and broke the vow of not consuming sugar and ate ice-cream. First, it started with 2-3 bars+cups. But within 3-4 days, it reached up-to 7-8 ice-creams at a time, means 300-400 ml of ice-cream at a time. Within 10 days, the urge was such that Aandaal used to look for going back to hotel right after padapuja at the ashram, just so that she can have ice-cream. All types of soups, tea everything was available in that Ayurveda restaurant, right across the hotel. But that was no more of interest, AMUL ice-cream was the only thing Aandaal was looking for and Aandaal was able to see something really weird going on; all of a sudden, this big urge of eating ice-cream, when Aandaal actually avoided consuming that sugar-free ice-cream having been conscious about the vow of not consuming sugar. Aandaal was wondering what was going on (!!), but was going through the experience with total awareness and trying to reach the solution to this new challenge, which surely was not solid food, but was also not good for health to eat so much fatty food, and that also like “crazy”(!). One day, Aandaal decided, ok, let me not resist this urge, let me accept it gracefully, that this is what this mind and body wants and Aandaal respects that, totally. Aandaal bought 3-4 favourite bars and cups, but yet mind said, no, that is not enough, so looked for a bucket (family pack), and there you go, Aandaal’s favourite “Kesar” and “choclate” flavour half-half beautifully stored in a plastic box, Aandaal found one in the fridge of that that grocery store. Aandaal’s mind said, yes, that’s it, Aandaal replied, there you go, have it. All those 3-4 bars + cups and 700ml of family pack ice-cream, Aandaal ate them all at once, savouring every bite of it, without guilt or without any concern. And guess what, that was it, next day, no more urge to have ice-cream. Couple of days passed by, at night we friends were just out taking a walk, one of them told, Aaaandaaal.. iiice-creeeam…  Aandaal could see in the inner space, nothing moved inside. Yet Aandaal decided to have ice-cream, bought couple of bars, and totally enjoyed it, but couple were enough, did not feel like to have more than that. Felt good, understood, pattern is broken, yet am able to enjoy the ice-cream, it was nice knowing that Aandaal did not hate ice-cream by over-eating, but yet, the understanding had not happened to Aandaal, why so much craving for eating ice-cream came up. Aandaal thought for a while and concluded, may be because Aandaal had created that thought few times of having ice-cream in India, drove Aandaal crazy for having ice-cream like this. One thing was there, Aandaal was very specific about the brand of the ice-cream, it had to be Amul, the other brand ice-creams were available in the other shops right around that grocery store, but “Amul” brand was important.
Now the date for second THE Samyama was coming close. Aandaal was in Tiruvannamalai and quite a few already Niraharis were participating in the second THE Samyama. Aandaal asked for blessing to Swamiji for attending THE Samyama again, Swamiji blessed Aandaal, Â Aandaal was delighted and thought, yes, this is good opportunity, now, would start again from scratch and will try to be real “Nirahari”, becoming food free.
2 days before the second batch of THE Samyama was to start, Swamiji asked during the morning satsang, how many of you are participating in THE Samyama for the second time. Quite a few raised their hands. Aandaal was one of them. Then Swamiji asked, how many of you did not eat solid food once even. Â Aandaal raised the hand then took back, raised the hand and took back. Aandaal had not taken any meal, but had taken those Swamiji’s chikkis, which were quite solid. Swamiji asked to Aandaal, what did you eat, Aandaal said Chikkis, Swamiji said, then you are not Nirahari. (!!) Aandaal was devastated, big tsunami happened inside. Â Aandaal was thinking about Swamiji mentioning in Tamil NSP that having prasadam is ok for Niraharis. And now Swamiji was saying, then you are not Nirahari. (!!) Aandaal was like, how could Swamiji forget what he himself said!!!!
Just couple of days back of this, Swamiji also had mentioned, all devotees should take 3 things, Peanuts, Haritaki (Kadukapudi) powder and goat milk, that will help in creating a yogic body. After hearing from Swamiji, that you are not Nirahari, and that was because of the solid “Chikki” that Aandaal consumed. Aandaal thought, let me use the same technique of feeding the mind to the fullest with chikki (like ice-cream) and anyways, Aandaal is going to participate in the second batch of THE Samyama, so then Aandaal will be re-initiated for being Nirahari. Aandaal bought 3 big packets of Chikkis from the store. Aandaal ate 2 and half packet of chikki right on the previous day of the second THE Nirahara to start and felt quite fulfilled, could not finish the third packet so left that half packet of chikki on the platform of the kitchen in our hotel suite. Aandaal also had bought a small packet of salted roasted peanuts which Aandaal always liked, and ate those also.
Next day was the first day of THE Samyama to start, Aandaal was exited for being with Swamiji for another 21 days and also being re-initiated as Nirahari. That day, in the morning satsang, Swamiji mentioned, Swamiji will initiate participants of THE Samyama today during the energy darshan or may be tomorrow. So during that first day, all THE Samyama participants can have food. Aandaal was not having any solid meals even-though had that chikki. So Aandaal did not have solid food that day. In the evening, all THE Samyama participants were told to go for energy darshan,  Aandaal also received. And right after that, it was end of that day, and we went back to our hotel. Aandaal and Aandaal’s friend and roommate (Abirami Paramanathan) entered the room, Aandaal casually went to the kitchen, saw that half piece of chikki on the platform, took it and ate it. (!!)  Abirami was seeing Aandaal eating, but did not say anything like, why are you eating !! Nothing !! We went to sleep, next day morning, got ready, went to Ashram, right after morning satsang, Swamiji mentioned, Swamiji is coming to THE Samyama tent. Aandaal thought, yes, now he is going to initiate THE Samyama participants so that we start our Samyama. Swamiji came to the hall, sat on the throne, and the first statement he made was, after yesterday’s initiation, Swamiji has decided, he is also going to be Nirahari with you all !!!! Aandaal was… “hhhaaa!!”… devastated again… Swamiji already initiated last night!!! Swamiji never mentioned he was initiating the process !!! Aandaal ate the Chikki the previous night after initiation!!! Gosh.. !! Aandaal’s face was hanging long ! Only 2 of us knew that Aandaal had eaten that chikki ! But being in the program, with this lie in the heart, that’s not something Aandaal could do!! So what was the solution, the fear was there, that Swamiji might not allow Aandaal to participate in the program, but authentically, Aandaal did not know the previous night was the initiation into THE Samyama. Aandaal informed the co-ordinator about eating that chikki the previous night not knowing that THE Samyama already had started. Co-ordinator said, she has to mention it to Swamiji and rest is up-to Swamiji. Aandaal was anxious all day about how Swamiji will respond. By evening, she came back with a smiley face to Aandaal informing Aandaal, Swamiji said, you can continue THE Samyama. That was real bliss, was so relieved and delighted for not missing the opportunity by eating that CHIKKI.
Now was the real THE Samyama process happening to Aandaal. Aandaal could realize the real reason for eating the AMUL ice-cream like crazy and the salted roasted peanuts and peanuts chikki. In childhood, anytime, there was birthday of any family member, we always used to celebrate it with a family pack ice-cream. Anytime, any occasion of joy and celebration, the first thing we got was ice-cream. There were few brands of ice-cream available, but AMUL was the chosen and preferred one in Aandaal’s family. In those days, the direction of connection between Celebration and Ice-cream was “becauase of the occasion of celebration, there was ice-cream brought in”, but now the direction of the connection between celebration and ice-cream had reversed, the ice-cream became trigger for sense of celebration. The mind was recognizing the reverse connection also as true. To put it more precisely, before, the sense of celebration was there first in the inner space and in the outer space, the ice-cream was brought in. Now, the ice-cream was brought in the outer space and the inner space was creating the sense of celebration. The sense of celebration was triggering by the outer world entity called ice-cream. This was a great click of how the mind works.
Eating chikki after the first day initiation and going through the whole day of fear of not being able to participate in THE Samyama, created quite a bit of turbulence in Aandaal’s inner space, but lead to receiving profound deep understanding. So many times Aandaal thought “why did Aandaal eat that Chikki.. !!” after confessing to the co-ordinator and waiting all day for Swamiji’s response to it!! And answer came to Aandaal.
Aandaal’s father is a retired central Government officer in Income tax and Auditing. Dad used to travel to other nearby cities in Gujarat for the job purpose. There is this town called “Bhuj” in Gujarat, salted peanuts are internationally renowned and recognized as best peanuts from this city. Aandaal was 7-8 years old. Whenever papa would travel to this city, he will buy big chunk of those long, naturally sweetish, crispy, roasted and salted peanuts. When papa would come back home in the evening, after finishing dinner, was the time for sitting outside in the balcony, papa would sit on the swing and we all kids (siblings) and mom, will sit down on mats, on the summer night, in the moon light. Papa would keep the lights off because the moon-light used to be really soothing and cooling. He will give us peanuts in our bowls, chunk by chunk as we finish, and.. he will crack jokes, we will chat, laugh and eat peanuts. So here, there was this great ambiance of summer night, moon-light, end of day, after having dinner, the whole family is sitting together chatting, laughing casually, kind of quite relaxing; the whole ambiance was emotionally charged. And papa used to mention every time we eat those peanuts that peanuts from Bhuj are recognized as best peanuts world-over. This used to add-up in joy of having those peanuts.
MIND, as it works, illogically logical manner, reversed the connection between peanuts and the ambiance in which those peanuts were eaten. Believe it or not, all through my life, Aandaal always kept long roasted salted peanuts always available in the home. Eating not eating was not the issue, there was no issue of obsessive eating of peanuts, also because after eating some, Aandaal automatically felt sense of vomiting, thats how peanuts react to Aandaal’s body up-on eating more than certain amount. Aandaal joined Nithyananda Vedic Temple as full time volunteer in April, 2012. In the temple also, there was one storage cabinet, Aandaal used to have a packet of long salted roasted peanuts there, all the time.
Even seeing the salted peanuts was triggering the memory of the joyful ambiance that Aandaal experience in childhood while eating those long salted roasted peanuts from Bhuj. This whole process brought the understanding of “Emotional Eating” to Aandaal. Â Aandaal was eating ice-cream and peanuts because of the emotion connected with those food items. The emotion got attached to the food item in some event during childhood. Here, an important revelation was, mind does not recognize the direction of the connection between the outer world entity (food item) and inner experience (joy). After some time, Mind starts interpreting that the outer world entity (food item) which was integrally but was just part of the event taking place in the emotionally charged ambiance is responsible for the emotion (joy or any other emotion). This is a wrong interpretation, but mind catches hold of it out of ignorance or wrong understanding and sticks to the outer world entity (food item) hoping to trigger the inner world experience (joy), which cannot happen because as in Aandaal’s case, peanuts were not the reason for the joy Aandaal experienced in the whole incidence of eating peanuts in that family time ambiance.
Same about ice-cream, even though Aandaal ate 7-8 ice-cream bars and cups at a time, the next day, mind was standing back again, demanding for more, unfulfilled! It was searching for that joy that was experienced while eating the ice-cream in the party ambiance. But it was not understanding, the joy was not coming from the ice-cream when it was experienced back then in the childhood.
That was a huge shift in understanding about how and why Aandaal consumes certain food items quite religiously and not knowing the reason for being choice less – out of control. That was “Emotional Eating”.
Second THE Samyama ended, and guess what !! The understanding happened about how and why Aandaal was eating peanuts, but that was not the end!! As soon as second THE Samyama ended, another thing came up.
Aandaal had gone to Banglore with friends in the Ashram. One of the lady was eating the Cadbury bars, really huge ones, the 200 gram ones. Aandaal saw her eating, was never attracted to eat those because Aandaal used to feel that artificial flavor smell in it and did not like the idea of putting such chemicals in the body through those chocolates. Once the lady mentioned, Cadbury has introduced this “Silk” bars, they are really good. She shared a piece of “Orange” flavour “silk” chocolate bar with Aandaal, Aandaal liked the texture and taste. And there you go, something triggered, Aandaal bought one bar and then another and then another and then another.
Every day, in the Ashram, in welcome center where Aandaal was sitting and working on her assignment, used to observe Aandaal eating these chocolate bars. Couple of ladies commented as well, “are they really good!?”, the meaning was, you are eating every single day!! Chocolate bars, specifically those Cadbury ones, became now a new puzzle to solve for Aandaal. By now, Aandaal had experience of Ice-cream, chikki and peanuts. Aandaal tried to trace the first experience of eating the cadbury chocolate bar, and it was a memorable one. Aandaal’s aunt was the one who had bought the first cadbury bar to Aandaal.  Aandaal’s mom-dad used to say “oh that’s too big chocolate to eat for kids, teeth would go bad”, but that day, Aandaal had gone out with aunt in Kolkata, and she bought one for Aandaal. That was a memorable, most cherished memory for Aandaal.  Aandaal thought, yes, that’s the reason Aandaal got into eating these chocolates, emotional eating.  But immediately another memory came up, by seeing Aandaal and Aandaal’s siblings demanding chocolate bars all the time, Aandaal’s Dad actually had adopted the same strategy of fulfilling the desire of eating chocolate bars of the kids in the home and making them satisfied, so a day would come, we kids would not crave for it too much. Aandaal’s Dad used to keep those Cadbury chocolate bars and the 5-star and all in the fridge in big amount and we all kids were allowed to eat those bars whenever we wanted to. And papa was right, after some time, we stopped craving and demanding for chocolates and the problem was solved.
So the puzzle remained unresolved about the reason for eating so many chocolate bars, all of a sudden, quite uncontrolled. Aandaal resigned to the same technique of eating to fulfillment of mind without resisting the urge to eat those chocolates, and it worked, Aandaal came out of eating chocolate bars as well. But, the reason for eating those chocolates was not emotional eating, that Aandaal could observe.. Puzzle was yet to be resolved!
Chocolates stopped, and Aandaal was not eating regular diet / meal, but now another thing triggered, Aandaal started feeling like to have urge to eat Chikki (Peanut + Jaggary candy) back again. How that started now!! Â Aandaal did not know, but Aandaal would very casually and without putting any extra effort or excuse, would find some reason to go to the market and secure packets of chikki. Every single day after that, Aandaal religiously ate chikki bars and also follow not eating of regular solid food / meal. Again Aandaal could see, something is going on, AAndaal needed to understand whatever was going on.. which was quite amazing and challenging to understand! The main concern was, being Nirahari was happening by not eating any regular solid diet, but this chikki was not leaving Aandaal even though being initiated as Nirahari.. and the thing was, there was no guilt and no feeling of not being Nirahari because Aandaal was not eating regular meal at all, AND the funny part was, by now, Aandaal had received a pet name – “Chikki” !
Aandaal was getting ready for Dec 2012 cruise Inner Awakening (IA), third THE Samyama was scheduled with this IA. Aandaal “obviously”, enrolled for THE Samyama, chikki had to stop and drop. Aandaal also thought, it may be because Aandaal ate that piece of Chikki on the first day of second THE Samyama after initiation and the whole day worry and then Swamiji allowing Aandaal to continue, the whole experience, it ended up becoming a strong pattern and Aandaal ended up being caught up in eating Chikki. Out of the last purchase of chikki packets before heading for Cruise IA, 2 packets were still left, Aandaal thoguht, let me put these at the feet of the Master, only Swamiji can take this Chikkis away now.
THE Samyama and Inner Awakening started, Swamiji initiated all of us, Aandaal was not feeling anymore to eat those 2 Chikki bars but why Aandaal ate so much Chocolate bars and then Chikki bars, was still a mystery. In one of the session in the very first 2 days, the understanding landed on Aandaal. During a group discussion somebody mentioned a word, “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder”. The participant mentioned that word in some other context, but it hit Aandaal’s inner space with the context of eating those chocolate bars and chikki bars. Aandaal could see very clearly, all her life how different food items Aandaal was obsessed with in different times.
Another important revelation was, Aandaal always wanted to eat those large size cashews, for years, would see those in the grocery store, but will never buy it and never eat those, and yet, would always carry desire to eat those.. !! That was quite amazing and did not know why Aandaal was doing it at all!!
This word Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) triggered a great understanding and Aandaal could get access to source event that caused this OCD. Aandaal was 14 then, it was holy month of Shravan according to Hindu calendar. For samll girls, in Gujarat, there is a special vrata (penance) called Gauri vrata and once you finish with 5 consecutive years of Gauri Vrata, one has to observe Jaya Parvati Vrata for next five years in this month. It is a five days penance of fasting. Fasting is not quite fasting, you eat some special food once a day in the evening, which is like meal only, but without salt. And during the day, one can also consume fruits, milk and milk products and dry fruits / nuts, as much as one wants !! But for kids, this restriction itself is enough to experience having gone through a great penance! It was second or third day, Aandaal was going through the “penance”, it was holiday in the school, Aandaal was home, the penance is more when dry fruits are there in the fridge and you are fasting and supposed to eat only those!! Almost all types of dry fruits were there in the fridge but Aandaal was fold of cashews, so was going to the fridge and was taking cashews and eating. Right then, Aandaal saw mom coming from the bed-room, with a handful of cashews and she gave those cashews to Aandaal’s little brother, who obviously was not fasting, because this Vrata (penance) is designed for girls only. The story about this vrata says, Uma (incarnation of Parvati), observed Gauri Vrata to attain Lord Shiva as her husband and Parvati observed “Jaya Parvati” vrata to attain Lord Shiva as husband. So, when Aandaal saw mom giving these cashews to little brother which she brought from the bed-room, Aandaal asked, what is she giving to him, mom mentioned, she is giving these cashews to little bro because Aandaal is eating them up from the fridge and not sharing with him!! That created a stir in Aandaal… First of all, Aandaal was not aware that Aandaal is eating too many cashews, second, she was hungry and that is why she could be eating too many cashews, but sure enough, there was no intention there for not sharing with little bro. Fridge was open for everyone in the family, he could go to the fridge and take those if he wanted to eat. When mother mentioned those words, it created too much resistance in Aandaal. Aandaal felt, mother was blaming Aandaal for something that Aandaal was not intending at all, and the next thing that came up in Aandaal’s mind was, “Aandaal is eating those cashews because Aandaal “Likes” it, and not that she wants to finish those up and not share with little brother”.
To put into more precise words, there were 2 emotions happening here, one, resistance towards the idea of “Overeating” those cashews with the mean attitude of “not sharing”, and second, to overcome that complex that this idea was creating,  the truth that Aandaal felt in this whole situation that Aandaal is eating these cashews because Aandaal “Likes” those. This was an emotionally charged moment, where resistance for idea of “Overeating” was there and the compensating idea was, Aandaal eats because she “Likes”. The thought was so strongly emotionally charged simply created a knot in Aandaal’s mind and all through life, whenever Aandaal liked something, ended up overeating it uncontrollably with the same feeling in the inner space that “Aandaal is eating it, because Aandaal “Likes” it.” This “Like” word worked as a trigger for the OCD pattern about “over-eating” in Aandaal.
There was time when Aandaal was obsessive about eating chocolates, then a thought was raised, these are chemicals, not good for health, which helped Aandaal dropping the chocolates as food consumed under OCD, but then, Aandaal was eating salads, completely obsessively. But here the thought was, well, it is good for health, nothing wrong in eating salads. So, even though, Aandaal could see and feel very clearly, Aandaal is eating those salads quite obsessively, and not eating the regular diet like other people. There was no counter thought which would stop Aandaal eating salads quite religiously, so it never stopped until attending the Nirahara Samyama.
In later half of the year 2008, Aandaal actually got caught up with potato chips. One day, Aandaal bought a packet of Potato chips (Lays), “liked” it, and that’s it, “Aandaal started eating those because Aandaal “Liked” it.”.. whooh.. that was the time Aandaal gained weight becoming 68 kg big ballon. Peanut butter sandwich, avocado.. all under OCD, Aandaal was eating and yet eating lots of salads, and not regular food / diet. So when Bhaktaswami asked, how many of you overeat, Aandaal did not raise hand, because Aandaal was totally seeing herself not eating regular meal, and eating only salads and healthy stuff in replacement of meal, but it was completely unrevealed to Aandaal about eating potato chips quite often under OCD, which seemed only once in a while, but was quite often, the big 300 gram packets. Aandaal actually was diagnosed with above high risk levels of LDL cholesterol during this time when Aandaal was caught up with OCD with potato chips.
This was a huge shift in understanding about consumption of food.. OCD – obsessive compulsive disorder- EATING OUT OF PATTERN.
Here anybody who reads the above story, could see, Aandaal’s mom was trying to say to Aandaal realize that she was “over-eating” those cashews which is not good, in terms of health, manner and also it was against the right family attitude of “Sharing”, but the approach she adopted created completely opposite result in Aandaal. Aandaal’s mother is educated, brought up in the metro city of Kolkata and coming from a rich and cultured family. But so called education and cultural family back-ground did not help her develop the understanding about the impact of the attitude and words she chose at times to convey the lessons she wanted to teach to her child. Aandaal does not see a fault in her about this, that is how she knew about teaching a lesson to the child. Having gone thought this personal experience, and identifying and recognizing the huge impact that this small incidence had created on Aandaal’s immature mind in childhood, which could have resulted in heart problems due to high cholesterols, obesity and due to obesity, God knows which other diseases (!!),   Aandaal wants to take this opportunity to recommend all parents to be aware about how you deal with your children if they are living with you. And if you understand the risk involved in raising your children by yourself, and you are really wishing well of your child, enroll them in Nithyananda Gurukul, or take-up the course called eN-Parenting which is conducted by Nithyananda Mission. Your children deserves to be brought up patterns free, which can lead them to enlightened consciousness, longevity, health, wealth and blissful life without being caught up in diseases, disorders, depression and un-successful miserable life.
Heartfelt gratitude in lotus feet of my Master  – Paramahamsa Nithyananda who blessed Aandaal with initiation into being Nirahari, without that, Aandaal could never have realized what Aandaal has shared all above with you all now. Thank you Swamiji. Aandaal loves you Swamiji, very much.
Third THE Samyama and IA is over and it is few days now, Aandaal is experiencing a great freedom of choice about having and not having food. There is nothing inside that is compelling Aandaal to have any particular type of food. And Swamiji always and already has blessed Aandaal with initiation into being Nirahari (free from Food). Aandaal is still taking liquid diet which is prepared in the Ashram for Niraharis. But Aandaal is excited about exploring the next possibility of experiencing that space which that yogini whom Paramahamsa Yogananda met, experienced and became free from food once for all.
Swamiji had mentioned during the first THE Samyama program that it will take 6 months for becoming completely free from food, not taking any food. Aandaal is able to understand why Swamiji mentioned that. Master blessed Aandaal 3 times for becoming Nirahari (Free from food), but the blessing and initiation can become reality only when the patterns break and right understanding happens, until that, the power of initiation does not make the initiation become reality. (!) Swamiji many a times says, Swamiji already has blessed you, you bless yourself!! That’s so very true!  Astu.
Ma Ananda Aandaal
Volunteer at Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam
Bidadi, India
